Breastfeeding

Many of us might have witnessed the ecstatic look of contentment in a baby that has just been fed to satiety: head tilting on the side, milk drops around his/her mouth, eyes drooping into a blissful sleep… Unfortunately, that is quite frequently not the experience new mothers will have with breastfeeding: milk production often not starting within the first 3 days after delivery, representing a risk for jaundice or dehydration for the baby, low milk supply, resulting in the baby not gaining enough weight and/or being fussy, cracked and/or sore nipples, engorgement, difficulty latching, etc., are some of the challenges new mothers frequently face with breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding installs an exclusive relationship with the mother, since she is the only person who can feed the baby. This relationship mimics and in a way prolongs life in utero: skin on skin, touching, smelling the mother and latching on her breast, is an experience as close as a newborn can get to his/her life in the womb. For the mother as well, her devotion to the baby through this physical connection can allow her to transition more smoothly into not being pregnant any more. Freud called this phase of absolute reliance and dependency of the newborn baby to the mother “the oral stage” of psychosexual development, where the mouth and satisfaction of the basic need of hunger becomes the focal point of the mother-child interaction. The way things will unfold during the oral stage, will determine the developing child’s ability to form a secure base for attachments.  

During the first days, feedings can be long and painful, until breastfeeding can be fully established, and frequent feedings are required during the night. Pumping milk between feedings can increase milk supply and pumped milk is often used by new mothers to supplement feedings at the breast. With the significant commitment it requires, especially at the start, breastfeeding can elicit ambivalent feelings for the mother: at the same time she desires to merge and be one with her baby, she also desires to separate and feel like herself again. This fluctuation is also felt by the father, whose unconditional support to the mother and her determination to breastfeed - or lack thereof - is now needed more than ever. Indeed, the challenges of establishing breastfeeding can be such that a couple might decide to mixed feed or completely shift to formula feeding.

Despite the undeniable psychological and biological benefits of breastfeeding, formula feeding has proven to be a valuable alternative. Allowing for the father or other caregivers to feed the baby too, formula feeding can facilitate bonding just as well as breastfeeding, if eye contact and physical proximity are maintained. Irrespective of whether a couple will choose to persevere and work through the difficulties that breastfeeding represents, or shift to formula milk, they will experience varying degrees of anxiety, frustration and sadness. 

At Thrive Wellbeing Center, our psychologists are here to support you transition into parenthood and looking after your baby in whatever way you decide to feed him/her. Call us now and let us accompany you in your breastfeeding journey.

Call us now and let us be a part of your parenting journey, helping you support your family in all its uniqueness.